Girlfriend Wants Better Oral Sex

My new boyfriend doesn’t like to give oral sex. I'm not satisfied without it but I don't want to pressure him to do something he doesn't want. How do I handle this?

I would bet that he either doesn't feel very confident in his oral sex ability or he had a bad experience that turned him off giving oral sex. You need to have a conversation with him--outside the bedroom--to discover if it is either.

Find out if he was given negative feedback by a past partner. Or if he is turned off by the smell, taste or the bushel of hair. When you hear his concerns, don't judge and don't get upset.

Then tell him gently that oral sex is something very important to your sexual enjoyment. Together figure out how you can work around what he has told you.

Next you need to show him what you like and make sure that teaching him is a fun experience. When things start heating up in the bedroom, show and tell him what you want.

Remember: men need specific, succinct and direct language in order to understand what you’re saying.

Don't know where to start? Show him while performing oral sex on him--yes, the penis and vulva are very different however, it's probably your easiest way to demonstrate. And very fun to boot.

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Trina Read

Trina Read is the founder of VivaXO.com and Eat Drink Love and CBC radio Relationship Expert. She is a leading relationship and sexual health expert and educator; and  is a best selling author, media expert, syndicated blogger, international speaker, magazine columnist, and spokeswoman. Follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

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