Top Ten Reasons for Friends with Benefits

Sexual needs Just because you are not in a relationship does not mean you are dead. And solo sex just doesn’t cut it sometimes. Casual sex is now more popular than it used; even really good friends will have sex together to compensate each other’s lack of affection from elsewhere and sexual needs.

Convenience Friends with Benefits (FWBs) provide convenient access to sex while not in a relationship. Don’t feel like shuffling off to the local watering hole tonight to prowl for drunken sex? No need. You can make a sober phone call to your FWB and make plans that might involve dinner and an après dinner show. Oh, you’re single again? Interesting. So is your former FWB. Is it rebound sex if it’s a former FWB? I don’t think so.

No strings attached As a good friend of mine once told me “Friends with Benefits are great because you get the benefits of sex without the BS of a relationship.” Yes, that’s a direct quote. No fights. No boring family dinners. No lame Christmas parties. Just great sex. And hopefully lots of it.

Repeat sex = better sex + experimentation Tired of sloppy drunken sex at 3:00 a.m. in the morning? Worried that you’ll never get that person out of your house tomorrow after they pass out after lack-lustre sex and then they’ll try to move in with you the next day? Then how about having repeat sexual encounters with one person? You can be yourself, experiment, they already know you so you don’t have to be overly embarrassed and there’s no judgement.

Safety Some people feel safer having sex with a friend than a stranger. This is especially true for some women--all date rape statistics aside. Also since this is a friend, hopefully you are honestly disclosing previous STI histories with one another.

Sexual intimacy Some people have difficulty being sexually intimate with someone they don’t know well. For FWB, since this person is a friend, it may be easier to be intimate with someone when you know you won’t be judged.

Ideal wingman/ wingwoman If you and your FWB are not romantically interested in each other (which is a basic ground rule for getting into a FWB in the first place) then there’s no reason to lose your shit when they meet someone else. Your FWB could be your best wingman/ wingwoman ever!

No gifts How about not having to buy those requisite holiday or birthday gifts for your significant other? Hello $3 birthday shooter at the bar.

The ultimate answer to “Who pays? Who pays? You both do. You pay your half, your FWB pays theirs. No debates. No fights. No negotiations. It’s always separate cheques for FWB.

Knowing where you stand Compared to many other casual sexual relationships, there is often the most discussion in a FWB. What are we doing? What are the boundaries? What am I allowed to post on your Facebook? Am I allowed to text you late at night? Do we tell our friends? Perhaps you have your own benefits that aren’t listed here.

TYT University discuss the pros and cons of casual sex and hook ups.

About The Author

Jocelyn_wentland
Jocelyn Wentland

Jocelyn Wentland is a Sex Researcher, PhD student at the University of Ottawa. You will find her blogs are sexual, risqué (she likes to push the envelope), potentially offending, fun, but most of all, real. Read more of Jocelyn's blog at Sex Research and The City.com. Follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

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